Plot Points

Story Telling - The ability to talk until you have something to say.
-Garrison Keillor

Have you ever been in the middle of telling a funny story when you suddenly realize that the story is not funny at all? In fact, it is downright stupid? Welcome to every day of my life.

I started this blog to be a starting point. It is just a plot point in a story that has been telling itself to me for many years. Since I started these short entries, I also began writing a book. So, allow me to rephrase my earlier question. Have you ever been writing a book when you suddenly realize that the story is not interesting at all? In fact, it is downright boring? Welcome to every day of my life.

All those things they say about how difficult it is to write a book are absolutely true. It is quite a lot of work. I always assumed that going into the process but I still couldn't imagine what the difficult part would be. Now I'm starting to piece some of it together.

My wife, Aly, once told me that she wished she had a better testimony. For Christians, your testimony is sort of an important thing. It is the story of how you came to follow Christ. Some people have these really elaborate stories about how they were lying in a gutter after a massive drug trip, then they heard God speak to them and dropped their needles cold turkey. Crazy stuff like that. Others can give you the exact date that they prayed a prayer and explain in detail how their life began to change from that moment on.

What troubled Aly was that she didn't feel like anyone would be interested in her story. That it was boring. This is the case for many Christians I meet who grew up in a Christian home or who were always involved with a church. They say that there is nothing to tell concerning their testimony.

I fall into this category. The story of how I got to know Jesus is fairly uneventful.

However, I would like to propose an idea that I stumbled upon. I have another friend who told me the same thing. He said that his story was just not that interesting. But every time we get together I've learned to start asking him questions and encouraging him to speak. I started because I find his stories to be absolutely fascinating. Each time we talk he has something interesting and thought provoking to share. Let me give you an example:

A few weeks ago, we were at this cigar thing that a few of my friends and I host once a month. It's a time for guys to hang out and get to know each other better. It's really not a big thing, but with every event we put together, it seems that something unique happens. Usually it's around one or two in the morning after most of the crowd has left. That's when things get interesting.

At our last event, there were seven of us left when one guy shared his own story with us. He was really struggling with some stuff and wanted our opinion. I spoke a lot, as I tend to do, and a few other guys contributed as well. Then my friend, the one with the boring story, he decided to chime in. He had the most amazing things to say. It was so personal and yet universally practical at the same time. What he said was very meaningful and I can honestly say it spoke to all of us and not just our troubled friend.

So, here is what I've learned. Your story matters. Even if you think that you have nothing of value to add to the conversation. Our stories shape who we are. There are always others who are on the same journey but just have not  reached to the same point as you. You may not have done anything really exciting in your life, but that does not mean that you haven't learned anything along the way. And it certainly doesn't mean that people are not interested.

Though it has been a challenge, my book is coming along just fine. It is a memoir of sorts so it deals with my own story. The problem I have is that I often question whether or not anyone cares what I have to say. It just doesn't seem like there is enough excitement. So I guess I'm writing this blog for me as much as for you. Thanks for reading and thanks for listening to my stories.

Note - I've included some of the pictures I've been editing from my backyard. This is where I get to do most of my writing.

The Great Gatsby - A Forward

  I was in high school the first time I read F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Even then I knew there was something I loved about this novel though I couldn't put a finger on it. You see, back then I was required to read. We would have a set number of assigned chapters and then a quiz followed by some discussion of themes. We read all kinds of great book but Gatsby was one of the few I actually finished. Back then, I was too worried about girls to read books. Maybe that was what I loved about the book.


  Since then I have revisited the novel half a dozen times. Every few years I start to forget the details and a new urge to relive this story rises up in me. It is the same feeling as remembering something that happened to you many years prior that you will never forget. "Remember the time..." For me, the experience is the same. From the first sentence I become Nick Carraway and I am remembering the events of that long ago summer. "In my younger and more vulnerable years..." and so on. I can hear the sounds of Gatsby's wild parties. I see the eyes of Dr. Eckleburg piercing my skin and revealing my secrets. I can still taste the brandy and wine on my lips.

  It interests me that this story has stuck with our culture for so long. With Baz Luhrmann's latest installment, there are now four motion pictures based upon Fitzgerald's greatest work. But what is it that keeps the story so interesting to us today? It's not like there is a particular amount of action, save a few scenes. Due to Fitzgerald's attentiveness to detail, the story will forever be captured in the hustle and bustle of the roaring twenties. And yet it speaks to us somehow. There is an element of the story that seeps out to capture our attention.

  Still, with each reading I find myself among the characters as each plot point unfolds. What I think captures my attention the most, as with many readers, is Gatsby himself. Jay Gatsby, from the moment he is introduced, has a noticeable air about him. He views the American Dream differently than ever other character. While the others get caught up in the superficiality of life, Gatsby seems to think that the world can be better than it appears. He is a true romantic. And it's Gatsby's American Dream that I see as the key component of this woeful tale. It is what leaps off the pages and has a direct affect on us, the reader. To me, that is why Fitzgerald uses Nick as his main character. Although the story of Gatsby's pursuit of Daisy is meant to hold our attention, the change that takes place in Nick is what we can really relate to. It is because that change is meant to take place in us as well.

  As the years have gone by, I have finished reading most of the books that I neglected in high school. Each has had something spectacular to say that makes me wish I had not ignored them back then. But The Great Gatsby still stands above the others to me. Maybe it is the superb writing, or maybe it just holds a special place in my heart. But I truly believe that this book will always be read. Years from now people will still be retelling F. Scott Fitzgerald's tale. Each time they do, giving new life to Gatsby's American Dream.

I Used To Go To a Church

 
          Let me start with this: I used to go to a church. You may know what church I'm talking about, or you may think you know, but may I please emphasize how unimportant the name on the sign may be. Though my own experiences have shaped the outline of this story, the building itself is merely a footnote. The truth is, if you've gone to any church, then we may in fact share the same story.

           Over the course of my life, I have been an active attendee of several churches. Although every church is different, they have a lot of similarities. A common opinion about churches is that they should function like a community or a family of sorts. Churches light up these words on signs just off the highway. They use them to identify to the world what it is they stand for. And often they are not too far off. When you frequent a place often enough, it is more than likely that you will form bonds with the people you see every week. And that's what I like about church. It ceases to be what you get out of it and becomes what you can pour into it. But that's a different story.

           It has been awhile since I've been to this particular church, but I had an opportunity recently to speak with many of my friends who also used to attend. Visiting with old friends is like dreaming of a movie that you've already lived. It is a reimagining of what was and a reflection of how you came to be the person you are today. It is both refreshing to the soul and deeply painful to the heart. The perfect blend of joy and sadness. As friends often do, we spoke of things that are only interesting to those involved in the narrative. And as it goes with most of these encounters, you begin to wonder what happened to the others. There is a vibrant cast of supporting characters in each of our stories that fade into our memories.

I must refrain from the details. I do not wish to gossip, so for the sake of those who may think they know any of these individuals I will keep things as vague as I can. But some of the details are important to the narrative.

           We told stories of extreme pain. Stories of our friends losing their grip on reality. Stories of people who were hurting and people who hurt others. It is amazing how much divorce is rampant in a place where relationships are held in the highest regard. Financial ruin, arrests, infidelity, and so on and so on.... Keep in mind, these are people that I used to see every week for years. People that I knew very well. People that I love. So it's hard to hear these stories. You want to pretend that they don't exist.

           My friend Zach told my wife recently that some people decide to go back to their college town in hopes that they can relive the time they spent there. Or something like that. I think that is true with churches too. In a community, you don't just see people every so often. You are living your life out alongside them. Life is happening. When that life is no longer available, you long for it. We had something really special while at this church and I still miss it today. Knowing what we had there together and knowing how much things have changed for the worse is difficult to take in. It is the unfortunate reality of all relationships. But there is an exception.

           The purpose of this writing is to illustrate where I think we often fail as a church community. You see, I've been witness to many people in very similar situations. When your life collapses, you need someone to keep you afloat. Often times, we Christians get a little too wrapped up in the sin of a situation. Or we think too much about the politics of how we respond. We sometimes make decisions with our gut or with a handbook rather than with our heart. I've made these mistakes and I still pay for them today. Even as I type these words I am faced with the reality of relationships that I crushed with my own actions. But I've learned a lot from those mistakes.

           We all screw up from time to time. Some of us worse than others. Some much worse. But if Jesus is our example, we must remember to grab our friends by the arm and say, "I've been there." "I'm here for you." "I know you're hurting, but I'm not letting you go." We must remain one thing above all else: a community.

           Not all stories end poorly. Many people have since left my old church and left for good reasons. It has changed for the better along with the worse. Some churches and some communities will shrivel and die in the face of adversity. But my old friends, along with the church we used to frequent, continue to persevere. That is the message of the gospel really. It is a story of redemption when there was no hope to be found. Regardless of how many people from that community are suffering today, new life awaits each one of them.