Why I Love Weddings

               My friends Trevor and Brittany got married last week. I know everyone says this but their wedding was beautiful. We are all part of a small house church and everyone from our church showed up. The food was great, there was wine and dancing, and there were lots of friends. By the way, aren't they a cute couple?

                Trevor and I have a funny story of how we became close friends. We both knew each other when we were younger. I'm not exacty sure when we met but we we must have been around middle school. Maybe even earlier. We were never close friends but we knew who the other was. Later, we went to the same highschool but again we were never close even though Trevor was good friends with one of my best friendsand now brother-in-law, David. Then college and I moved away.

                When I moved back to Pensacola, Trevor and I would find each other at the same church. Seeing as we knew each other there was always "hey" and "what's up?" It wasn't until about a year later when Trevor wandered into one of my cigar Socials that we would become the good friends we are today.

                 Recounting this story with each other, Trevor told me that he thought I hated him when we reconnected at church. I thought Trevor was way too cool for school to hang out with a guyl ike me (I suppose he still is). Yet, here we are.

                I like to tell this story because Trevor and Brittany have a story that is somewhat similar, albiet much more romantic. Ok, maybe just a tiny bit similar. He tells this story better than I do so I'll only give you the highlights:

1. Trevor goes on a date with Brittany. Date goes poorly. Brittany declines date #2. Trevor is sad.
    
2. God tells Trevor to pursue Brittany. Trevor tells God that He is crazy. Trevor is rejected by Brittany many times. Trevor is sad.
   
3. Many years go by. Trevor and Brittany share a magical kiss. They fall in love. Trevor is happy.

                I hope I didn't screw that up too bad, guys.

                My wife and I have a similar story, too. A story in which I sought after her for a long time before we were finally brought together. I finally got my girl just like he did.

                 We love these stories, don't we? Hollywood has made a lot of money selling us these stories. Maybe I need to sell this story?

                As you may have guessed, this narrative also shows up in the Bible. Tell me if it sounds familiar. God and man are together in a garden. Man rejects God. God and man spend many years trying to reconnect. Thousands of years. Maybe millions. Then, one fateful day God is reunited with man as a man, Jesus. Finally, Jesus is murdered so that man can once again know God. It is the greatest love story.

                Weddings always remind me of this. I can't help it but I'm a true romantic at heart. There is a reason Jesus refers to his people as the Bride of Christ. And there is a reason that Jesus tells so many stories about weddings, brides, and bridegrooms. God is pursuing us and no amount of us running away is going to change His mind.

                I'm happy for my friends and I am happy that I could attend their wedding. I very easily could have written off Trevor as a friend just as easily as he could have given up on the love of his life. In the same way, a perfect God could have easily said, "Screw these people. I'm out of here." Thankfully, this is not the way God operates. He doesn't give up on us no matter how many times we mess up. Like the story of the prodigal son, He is always waiting for us to come back home. And when we do, there will be a wedding.


*I wish I could take credit for these amazing photographs. However, they were take by the crew at Cook Images. Check out their site:
www.cookimages.com

Collecting Stories Hidden In Smoke

                When people ask me what type of writing I do, I tell them that I collect stories. Which is true. I’ve spent the last 6 years or so sitting on my back porch surrounded by a cloud of smoke, sharing thoughts with my friends. The truth is, I don’t have many original thoughts in my head. But I suppose that I’ve always been a good listener which counts for something.

                The trouble with what I do is that it seems easy. It’s not at all difficult to sit behind a laptop punching buttons marked with letters to form words and sentences. It’s usually pretty simple to recount the things that have been told to me over the years. Sure there is a small amount of effort involved. Plus there is the time spent and the effort of turning off the television long enough to form coherent thoughts. I sure do look like I know what I’m doing.

                Do you want to know the truth? Honestly?

The reality of my situation is that I live in a constant state of anxiety and fear. I sometimes wonder why I believe some of the things that I do.  I worry that every thought I’ve ever had will amount to nothing at all. I ask questions but sometimes don’t want to know the answers. I don’t live up to expectations.

I’m afraid that I may have gotten it all wrong.

I suppose it would not be a stretch to assume someone could read my words and think that I speak from a position of authority. It would be equally as likely for someone to assume I’m full of it. But I think we often project an image onto people based on their position. Politicians, celebrities, pastors. It comes up more often in churches and religious institutions. We think that because someone is a pastor or worship leader that they have it all figured out. Their lives must be pretty great. The reality is that most of the time they are more screwed up than the rest of us. And I would know. I’ve talked with a lot of them.

I don’t mean to be critical of anyone. I simply want to take a few moments to examine myself in a way that may be constructive for others. Because I don’t have it figured out. I have conversations with a lot of people who are lost, confused, and downright pissed off with the way things are in churches or their own lives. What always stands out to me though is that many of them think there is something wrong with them when they have these thoughts. They think that they should have the answers. Not have doubts. Not be afraid.

Well, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. I ask the hard questions all the time. Because I do not know the answers. I have doubts. I am afraid. Most of the time, I am depressed and feel a deep sense of pain in regards to where I am in life. You may be feeling some of these thoughts yourself. And that is ok.

My friend Charlie told me, “Knowing that you’re ignorant is the first step to finding something out. Ignorance of ignorance is the real problem.” I am comforted in a strange way by the fact that I am not as smart as I may come across sometimes. I think that admitting that we have a lot to learn opens us up to learning more. Especially about God. If we knew everything about God then He probably wouldn’t be that interesting. The more we question ourselves and humble ourselves, the more He can show us. And I like that idea.

 

When all is said and done, I only write with any kind of authority because I have listened to people’s stories. I have paid attention when my friends have told me the questions that they have had the courage to ask. I have been told of failures and the lessons learned from those experiences. I also have learned the lessons of my own failures. Hopefully, we can keep asking the difficult questions. I want to turn my own anxieties into something constructive and stop being afraid of what I don’t know. If you are looking for answers, I probably don’t have them. But I will keep telling stories and maybe we can find answers together.

 

A Quick Thought

                When I was a kid, one of my favorite cartoon characters was Sonic the Hedgehog. He was who got me interested in reading comic books. Not Spider-man or Batman or the Fantastic Four. He was my gateway drug of sorts. Flash forward to today. Since I work overnight, Alyson said I need to be in the sun more. Clearly she is right, so I decided to start running. I wonder now whether Sonic ever ran for fun or exercised even. Seeing as how he had to run so often to defeat Dr. Robotnik. Maybe during his off time he enjoyed sitting still.

                What I have learned to love about running is the solitude. I like running with people as well, but I take great joy in being alone with nothing but miles ahead of me. I don’t think everyone should take up running, but I do think that everyone should have time to just think. It’s very therapeutic.

There is something that can’t quite be described that happens to you when you are alone with your own thoughts. Sometimes you find understanding and sometimes you find more questions. Sometimes you dream and sometimes you reflect. No matter what I end up thinking about, I almost always feel like I accomplished a little something.

The Bible tells us that we should reflect on God’s word. I used to think this meant that I was supposed to read my Bible every day, a habit I was never great at keeping. But, when was the last time you just thought about God? I often take something that I have read a thousand times and just think about it. What does it mean? Why was it written down in the first place? What sort of personal context have I added to this passage over the years? How is God represented here? It is a lot easier to read words on paper but it takes work to chew on it and let it seep in.

If we simply fill our heads with information but never process it, what good are we accomplishing? I find it much more interesting to contribute to a conversation that has been taking place for thousands of years. I wonder what Sonic is thinking about when he’s running?

By the way, here is the view from my 5 mile run today.

On a separate note, I have decided to go see the remake of the Evil Dead. I am both terrified of the film itself and terrified that one of my favorite movies ever is about to be ruined. If you’ve seen it, drop a comment and let me know what you thought of it (no spoilers please). As Doug Benson would say, this movie is not for emetophobes. Thanks Doug.

 




For all the science nerds reading this, here is a video I came across a while back that I enjoyed. It discusses the physics behind Sonic the Hedgehog. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYFpAeqaCrw

UPDATE: I went to see Evil Dead. Thought the film was wonderful and true to the original while still telling a unique story. Also, you should not see this film if you are the least be squeamish. It is truly terrifying. 

 

Love and the Moment

                In my experience, when you are falling in love you tend to live in the moment. You don’t process most of what occurs until after the fact. My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years and it still blows my mind that we are together at all. Not because of any particular reason other than how circumstances worked in our favor to cause our paths to cross. I’m not talking about fate here. I’m talking about specific events and their effect on our personal relationships.

                I got to thinking about this because I was listening to Chicago by Sufjan Stephens. In the song, Stephens talks about some of the places he visited and how those places changed his life over time. The subtle implication is a parallel with salvation and how God changes us from who we used to be into something new. This caught my attention.

                I have always thought of salvation as being this moment that happens. Maybe you know the drill. You say a prayer, ask Jesus into your heart, and POW! You’re a Christian. Born again. Saved. I’ve talked to many people who can remember the exact time and place that they did this. They know where they were, what they said, etc… I have often felt like I am missing out on something because I don’t know these details. I can’t remember anything about it. Yet this is such an important moment if you’re a Christian. It’s the moment that you become a new creation. Right?

   I’m starting to wonder if there is something more that is happening.

                Thinking of how I fell in love with my wife, I can remember the exact moment when I knew I was in love. We were in her car, a 1986 Volvo, and we had just gone for a walk on the beach. Just the two of us trying to spend some time together. When we got back in the car from our walk, she leaned over and kissed me then said that she had something to tell me. I knew exactly what she was about to say and I knew at that moment that I loved her too. It is a moment that I’ll never forget. But what I realize now is that I loved her before we said it out loud. I had loved her for a long time. But it wasn’t until that exact second, looking into her eyes, that I became aware that it was true.

                You see, falling in love is not something that happens when you say the words. In fact, I’m sure that many of us have told someone we love them when it may not have been true. As you spend time with someone, share life with someone, and get to know someone on a deeper level, you fall in love over a period of time. It is something that changes you. But there is still a moment when you realize it’s true. When you express this feeling with words. Because our relationship with Jesus is just that: a relationship. I speculate that it may work the same way. As you get to know the person of Jesus and build a relationship with Him, that is when you are falling in love. And then there comes a moment when you realize that it’s true. There is a moment when you feel the need to express that love in words. This sparks an interesting question: when did you get saved? Did it happen the moment you prayed a prayer?

                I only ask this question because I want to better understand the transformation that happens in the life of a Christian. Having a relationship with Christ implies that you know Him on some level. So, if you just say a few words but they have no meaning, then it doesn’t seem like love to me. It can’t be a magic spell that grants you admittance into heaven. Salvation is a change in who you are. Actually becoming a new creation. Something different than what you were before. As we get to know Jesus, He changes our hearts in a similar way to when we fall in love. Our priorities begin to change. We begin to care more about someone other than ourselves.

                Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that the moment that you ask Jesus to save you is not important. In fact, it is deeply important. After all, what would it be like if you got married but never told your significant other that you loved them? But I want to believe that salvation is deeper and more special than we may have previously made it out to be. The moment you pray that prayer is when you come to the realization that you are in love with your Creator. It is the moment when you realize that you have been cultivating a deep relationship and that you may in fact be in a place that you didn’t even realize you had reached. You may have fallen in love.


Listen to Chicago by Sufjan Stevens at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azGIf74ICmw