The Dangers of Loving Others?

                My friend Zach is often taken advantage of but not because he is gullible or unintelligent. This happens because he is that good of a person. If I'm being honest, he sometimes makes me feel a little like a jerk by comparison. Zach simply feels a need to help people in need.

                One time Zach and I were at a gas station. A guy came up and asked for gas money. He and a friend were trying to get somewhere, I can't remember. Zach gave the guy $5. Next thing we know, the guy gets in a car with another guy and they drive off laughing. Another time, I saw Zach give money to a guy on a street corner. 10 minutes later, we drove by the same corner and saw the guy sitting on the same curb with a beer. Zach was robbed twice by a homeless man that he let sleep in his house (for more about this story, visit the link at the bottom). I can't help but ask myself how he continues to give when presented with these disheartening results.

                My own stories have a slightly different overtone. One time, a homeless man approached me in a Subway parking lot and asked if I would buy him a meal. I said I was sorry that I couldn't help him, but the truth was that I just couldn't be bothered at the moment. At other times, I have avoided people I knew were living on the streets because I wanted to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation with someone who might be a little bit crazy. I also used to have a personal rule to never give money to the homeless, only food so they could not buy beer or cigarettes.

                So, whose story is better?

                Let me present one last story. I was in Burger King with my family. While waiting in line, a woman walked in with her young son. She was dressed somewhat provocatively which automatically made me begin to draw a conclusion to the type of person she might be. But she came in followed by a man in a wheelchair. Coincidently they sat at the table next to ours and I began to realize what was happing at their table. She had seen the man, who was homeless, out by the side of the road. She invited him into the restaurant and not only bought him a hot meal but also sat at the table and ate with him. They said a prayer for their food and told each other stories about themselves just like they were new friends. I couldn't believe it. I felt so ashamed because I realized that I would probably never do something like that. And here was this woman, following one of God's greatest commandments while teaching her son to do the same by example.

                We tend to think of the homeless as needy. Needy in a way that requires shelter, food, warmth, or clothing. We avoid giving these things because we don't want people to take advantage of us. We don't want to be duped. We feel that we can't trust those we fear and don't understand. But, I'm coming to realize that there is more to it than this. What if people are needy in a different way?

                The needy don't always need to be given things in a conventional sense. They need to be shown God's love. That's what Jesus commands us to do, after all. Who says that the right thing to do isn't to buy a homeless man a pack of cigarettes? Who says you can't buy an alcoholic a beer when he or she is shaking from pain and withdrawal? But let me take it even further than that.

                There is a relational component that gets lost when we encounter the homeless, drifters, and others on the streets. Maybe a lot of it has to do with the environment that we meet in: traffic intersections, underpasses, parking lots. Or maybe, we just can't be bothered with that part of it. Sure, there is a certain level of risk that you take when dealing with needy persons, but is that risk worth following one of God's greatest commands. Maybe we need to spend more time getting to know people. Talking to them, having lunch with them, sharing our stories with them. That's all some people are looking for. Someone to listen to them. Someone to actually care about them.

                 Taking chances is part of what makes love what it is. Loving unconditionally means that you stop thinking about how the outcome will affect you. For every time that my friend Zach has had a bad experience, he has also seen someone blessed by his actions and therefore seen God's love. That's what keeps him from giving up on people. The good that he has done outweighs the deception that has been dealt to him and he doesn’t regret a thing. That is one of the things that I admire about him. He is not afraid to pay the price of making the world a little bit better. I have realized how few people I have loved because I was afraid of the risks. And I'm learning to stop being afraid.

                I recently had an interesting conversation with a man who was hitchhiking from Naples, FL to New Orleans. He had been sleeping outside in the cold and had been to several churches asking for help. This is where I met him. He told me about how many pastors had sent him away, asked him for money, and in one case had him arrested. Then he said, "If God is like that, then fuck God. I don't even want to meet him." It makes me wonder how many people have a poor impression of God because I couldn't be bothered.

                Jesus ate and drank with the people that others wanted nothing to do with. Then he told us that whatever we do to the least of these, we also do to Him. He also told us the story of the Good Samaritan. Something I seem to forget about that story is how the man who was beaten feels at the end. He probably leaves this story with a very different perspective on who God is and how we relate to each other. I for one am trying not to make the same mistakes again.

 

Zach’s story is at:
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jfre3/iama_guy_who_let_a_homeless_guy_stay_at_my/